AFFAIR RECOVERY
Healing After Infidelity
You never thought this would happen to you.
One minute life is going on as normal and the next your world is completely blown up. Whether it was a discovery, a confession, or a gut feeling confirmed…the truth has hit like a tidal wave: your partner has had an affair. Suddenly the ground underneath you is no longer solid - nothing feels safe anymore. The person you trusted most has become the one who hurt you deepest. The pain is shockingly overwhelming. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep. You don’t know if your marriage can survive—if you can survive this.
You're not alone. And your relationship is not beyond hope.
There Is a Path Forward
Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences a couple can face. We don’t wish this pain on our worst enemy, but with skilled help, it can also be a turning point—a place where deep healing begins and a new, stronger relationship is built.
I have helped many couples like you not just heal, but thrive. I specialize in trauma-informed affair recovery. I believe that couples can recover from an affair—and not just survive, but create a more connected, resilient, and honest marriage than ever before.
The Problem: Affair Trauma Is Real
The betrayed spouse might be experiencing:
Shock and disorientation – “This can’t be happening.”
Obsessive thoughts – You replay conversations, images, timelines over and over, trying to make sense of the betrayal.
Sleepless nights – Your nervous system is on high alert, unable to rest or feel safe.
Sleuthing - You desperately try to regain control by obsessively checking cell phones, emails, social media.
Loss of identity – You’re asking, “Who am I now?” and “Was any of it real?”
Rage and deep sorrow – Anger at what was done. Grief over what’s been lost.
Isolation – You may feel like no one truly understands what this feels like.
These aren’t just “strong emotions.” For many betrayed partners, discovering an affair can trigger PTSD symptoms, including:
Intrusive memories or flashbacks
Hypervigilance or emotional numbing
Panic attacks or physical symptoms
Avoidance of people, places, or even thoughts associated with the betrayal
You're not overreacting. You're having a trauma response—because betrayal is trauma.
The Plan: How We Heal
Affair recovery is a journey. My role is to guide you through it—step by step. Here’s how we’ll move forward:
Stabilize & Address the Trauma
We begin by focusing on the betrayed partner’s trauma response. You cannot rebuild a relationship on a foundation of unprocessed pain. This stage includes grounding, nervous system regulation, and establishing emotional safety—for both of you. I will carefully guide you both through each moment of this difficult stage. You may not know the right things to say or do because you’ve never been here - but I do.Create Safety & Boundaries
Rebuilding trust starts here. We'll establish transparency, healthy communication, and boundaries that protect your healing. Everyone is different and requires different things to rebuild trust. I’ll help you figure out what those things are and come up with a plan to put it all in place.Explore the Why—Without Blame
Once safety is in place, we’ll explore the deeper dynamics and vulnerabilities that may have contributed to the affair—not to excuse it, but to understand and prevent it from happening again.Rebuild the Relationship
This is where true repair begins. Through intentional, relational work, we’ll help you build a new marriage—based on truth, mutual care, and shared meaning.
The Result: A Stronger, More Connected Relationship
Affair recovery isn’t easy. But with commitment, honesty, and expert support, couples not only heal—they often discover a deeper level of intimacy and connection than they’ve ever experienced.
You deserve that. And I can help you get there.
So you still have questions about affair recovery...
A lot is at stake; how do we know affair recovery counseling will work?
A lot IS at stake. There isn’t a minute that I’m not aware of that. That’s why I have devoted myself to becoming as skilled as possible not just in couples counseling, but also specifically in affair recovery and trauma. I have done (and continue to do) extensive trainings in affair recovery with the powerhouses of Couples Therapy including Terry Real, founder of Relational Life Therapy and The Gottman Method’s approach to Affairs and Trauma. I have further experience in trauma including being a long-time EMDR clinician and training in the somatic approach to trauma healing, the Trauma Resiliency Model. Affair recovery is a marathon and takes a skilled expert to help you to navigate the ups and downs. I have both the knowledge and experience to guide you through this journey.
What if you take my partner’s side?
When a couple comes to me in the wake of an affair, I know that you are both hurting. I am here to help you both through this difficult time. Because I see affairs as trauma, however, I do know that the trauma of the betrayed spouse must be placed at the forefront to start. This is necessary to create a safe environment where healing can begin to occur.
Affair Recovery is expensive and takes a lot of time.
Yes, affair recovery is an investment in time and money, but one that can pay off by initially getting you through this crisis and hopefully eventually by creating a satisfying, lasting relationship and frankly keeping a family together. I take your investment seriously and work hard to ensure that I come prepared to every single session so that we are making progress each time. I am keenly aware that the stakes are high and so affair recovery with me is very focused and purposely moves at a faster clip than individual therapy often does. Affairs are not something that can be swept under the rug. The pain and resentment of the betrayed partner will fester over time. Furthermore, without looking at the conditions that led to the affair, even if the marriage survives, it will remain vulnerable to an affair happening again. You are at a crossroads where the choice to heal will benefit everyone you love.
Ready To Get Beyond the Crisis and Experience Real Healing Together?
You deserve to heal from the pain and to have the opportunity to create a new future together. I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation where we can discuss how affair recovery can help you to move forward in a safe, healthy and fulfilling relationship. I am accepting new clients for my affair recovery, couples counseling, and discernment counseling services.
